Thank you / Karen Cone (Cone Brothers Mom )Read >>
Thank you / Karen Cone (Cone Brothers Mom )
I want to take this moment to Thank You for watching out for Ben and Grant during their tour in Iraq and driving home from Bragg. I know you were watching out for them because your Mom and I said you were and we know that you will always look out for all your brothers. My sons are better men for knowing you and I Thank You for that also. You touched their hearts more than you knew and you will always be a part of our family. Don't stop looking out for them, I think they will need to have you near.
Kaziah Hancock called the other night to tell me she is currently painting your portrait! She said "watch Good Morning America" on Sunday morning, and sure enough, my handsome son could be seen for all the USA watching that show at that moment. Lane, you've made us so immensely PROUD, and your likeness has gained national exposure. You deserve it. We stood with some of your buddies at the parade today: Hatch, Brent, Chad & we all wore your "memory of" shirts. Although the pain of losing you will never fade, the PRIDE will always override the pain.
blueberries in the valley / Angela Tollett (Cousin-in-law)Read >>
blueberries in the valley / Angela Tollett (Cousin-in-law)
Lane--Josh called your cellphone on a daily basis, sometimes 5 times in a row just to hear your voice after we came to Ohio for you.
It has been a year and our hearts are still broken. With no prompting from us there is not one mealtime or bedtime prayer that Curtis and Haven don't mention you and your family.
Curtis is playing baseball now and we wish you could be here at one of his games for him. He would be so thrilled to show you how good he pitches and how far he can hit. He painted black stripes under his eyes with some of the army face paint Don and Ryan brought him. He looks like a pro.
We just want you to know you are in our hearts and are every day. We miss terribly.
It's time for you to pull up the drive all sweaty and hungry. The Valley is beautiful and blooming and I bought some blueberries yesterday.
work sucked today / Grant Cone (Friend)
Cant really believe its been a year already. It really doesnt seem like one for us. Still seems like we just got back. Ben and I wanted to have a BBQ with the guys yesterday, but it was a pouring rain all day. Instead we got Ben, Mark, Wash, Clint, Darnell and myself and went to get some wings and tall boys. After that we played poker and told stories and drank. I lost $20 and Ben lost the same, except it was a 20 that he barrowed off me to play with. We stayed up until the early hours of the morning and then after we all passed out on the floor, we woke up at 4:30 to go to morning formation. We all looked like crap, but got out of doing PT. It was one of those days. Ben and I are playing 18 again tomarrow. We'll see you out there. We miss you so much and love you bro. Close
It's been a year since you left the ones you love. It's been a year that you've been looking down on us from up above. It's been a year of constant reminder that you're not here. It's been a year of memories, sorrow and fear. It's been a year since that horrible night. It's been a year from when you walked into the light. It's been a year where I had to be strong everyday. It's been a year of unspoken words I need to say. It's been a year since I had to say goodbye. Where is the good in goodbye when all I do is cry? It's been a year that has changed all my days. It's been a year, and I've grown strong in so many ways. It's been a year where I know you're in a better place. It's been a year, and I still haven't forgotten your face. It's been a year of just imagining what it's like up there. It's been a year since he took you, it just seems so unfair. It's been a year, but I know you're doing alright. It's been a year of only seeing you in my dreams at night. It's been a year, and I want you to know that I love you & miss you too, And no matter how well I hide my sadness & pain I will always be thinking of you.
love/ Lesley (girl)
so i made it to 11:30 pm avoiding this shitty shitty day. not that my mind hasn't been on you today, just like it is every day, i just tried not to realize the importance of this one particular day.
but then i started reading old emails we had sent back and forth throughout our courtship. some may think how is it possible we fell so in love, so quickly, but i would just show them an email or two and they would know...just like i knew, from the first minute.
you wrote me an email a year ago yesterday, and i wrote you back. i wonder if you got a chance to read it before you had to go out...
so im going to write it for you again, and hopefully you can read it up there, where i know you are making the most of it all, even though i wish you here today, just like every day since you've been gone.
...i have learned something though from this situation of ours. i have learned that the little petty, trivial things in life that seem to be so important at the time, arent. they arent worth the arguments or the tears. life is too short to focus on those things. and after spending the time apart that we will have spent, i hope to remember to spend every day with the fullest amount of love and respect for you that i can, because every day counts. i hope to embrace each day with you and remember the bigger picture of it all. i love you and you love me. there is nothing better i could ask for in life...
there is still nothing better i could ask for in life than to know i love you and you love me. but what i would give for one more kiss...
all my love
in all ways
sometimes the good moments hurt more than the bad Close
I figured it was time for me to actually put something on this website. I haven't done it yet because it takes everything I have to just open this site up. It is nice to read all of the things that people say about you but it has always been that way. In a way I wish that you would have been an asshole because it would make this a hell of lot easier. I miss you everyday brother and I can't even begin to describe how much. I am still waiting for the call from you saying "ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!?!" because I am at a bar again when you call. I'm not sure how that always seemed to work, either I used to go out way too much or you just had good timing. I have thought about what to say when I did decided to finally put something on this site for hours and hours and now that I am sitting in front of this computer all that is coming out is snot and tears. I love you Lane (as I hear your dad say a brother from another mother) and I miss you...WE ALL MISS YOU!!!
My dearest Lane, this just can't be a year already. I don't like these "landmark" kind of dates, not this way. I'll never distance myself from your last hug, kissing your cheek or bald head. Your laugh, your crooked grin and the look on your face when you told a good joke, or had just heard a joke or story that you couldn't wait to tell will stay forever. I know you were right with Ryan and me, when we held Lucy just after she was born, and included in the hug we got from Don when he walked out of that delivery room just beaming! Thank you for getting me to Ft Bragg safely, after 3 bumped flights, I would've crawled there to meet those guys, and thanks for getting them here 3 weeks later. I realize that you send me small signs daily, but that precious little Lucy, meeting the Ft Bragg Gang, your hometown buddies and having them all together here with Lesley, well, you've kept us all in your circle, and Lane, you will always be the center, holding us all together!! And for that my son, I will be eternally gratefull! We love you, we miss you, and until I see you again, MOM OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOXOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOXOOOOOOOXOOOO
Raining down / Allison Draper (Friend)
The weather is ironic today; It's rainy and cold...different than the days past. Sadly it matches the way I feel. I know it must have something to do with the date.
We miss you so Lane. Thinking of you today and always.
As you know Lane we went up to Elyria last weekend and met all your family and all your buddies. It was hands down the best time I have had in my life. I have never felt so welcome before. It felt so good to be there and talk about you. First off your mom, dad and two favorite brothers are the best. Besides Ben and I, your brothers are the coolest around. just kidding. There was times when I would be talking to your pops, Don or Ryan and I felt that I was talking and looking at you. It did us all so much justice to go up there and meet everyone. It was a emotional rollar coaster the entire time. One second I would be laughing as hard as I can and then I would be crying. A day doesnt go by that I dont think about you and going there brought back a lot of memories that had been put away for awhile. I cant even explain how good it felt to talk about all the good and all the bad with people who love you so much. I hope we were able to throw some good stories out there. I consider everyone we met family and you better believe we'll be back to see you and everyone. I now have even more people to call when I am having one of those days. All Ben and I do now is play golf way to much and then drink afterwards. We played yesterday and of course your name was on the card. The only problem was Ben was keeping score and you know how that goes. You were getting birdies and pars all day and finally I had to call BS on Ben and he finally agreed. But regardless you still won like usual. I miss you so much Lane and I feel honored to have met all your family and friends. You know how to pick them. I love you bro. Your the man!
Lane, We were all able to meet your Army Brothers this weekend and I have to say, I have never felt such warmth in my life. Being surrounded by those guys was therapeutic for me, they brought you back to us. I had the opportunity to sit down with your old man for a good three hours before things started to get crazy. He said, (refering to your bros from your platoon), there is a Joel Stuart, an Aaron Crane, a Mike Hartmen, a Justin Wagner and so on. I had to laugh when I met them all because he was right. They all reminded me of everyone we have ever hung out with. These type of people, whom I like to call family and friends, just gravitated toward you man. Your that guy. The guy that gets along with everyone and has no enemies and makes friends with every soul he meets. Your dad was so happy to wake up on Saturday with a house full of weekend bags and warm bodies. He said that's how you know you've succeded at raising a son. It just feels like we are all one big family and you are at the top of the tree! Everyone gets together to celebrate you and tell stories and eat and drink and hug and cry, it gives me goosebumps just thinking about it. I know you are there when we we all get together and that feeling of warmth just comes over me and my eyes swell and cry because I miss my friend, but I am also over-joyed at the legacy you have left in your wake. God, I am so thankful for having you in my life all these years. Lane, I think about you every day...sometimes I cry, sometimes I smile. God knows we did a whole lot of both growing up together!
I got to meet your niece this weekend as well, she's gorgeous...we have Annie to thank for that. I had to laugh at Don, he said he was unable to cut the cord because he was shaking so much...God love him, he's gonna be a great dad! I watched the video of the ceromony they held for you in Iraq today. The guys in your Company had you pegged, you made such an impression on them as you did everyone. I also have a large portfolio someone had put together for your dad chronicalling the articals from the paper and all the letters of commendation from the army etc. It's really something man. You had such an impact on this world in the short time you were with us...the great ones always do. I guess God has more important work for you to do up there. I don't want to be selfish, but I sure wish I could see again. Even if only for a minute so I can tell you man to man...I LOVE YOU BROTHER!
bracelet/ Lesley (girl)
so i got home from a long and tiresome day at work yesterday and there it was in my mailbox. the bracelet that i had ordered for you had come. i know you are probably thinking what took me so long to order it. you know me, i like to take my sweet time, never in a rush to do anything and following my own path. that and the painstaking realization that your name on the bracelet meant you weren't coming back.
so now everyone in my family has one for you. dad's says something about lots of fishing and lots of beer. obviously it would be stroh's or he would just drink manhattan's and you could have crown. oh the trouble you two would have gotten into... remember when you called him, slightly intoxicated when michigan lost to ohio state. oh that's right, you don't remember talking to him, but he remembers talking to you.
i remember talking to you too. every word we have ever shared. and all those still unspoken in my heart.
im glad that everyone has gotten home safely. im glad your mom got to go to fayetteville to see them all and share laughs and memories and tears with them.
i'll do it someday...i promise.
im also glad little lucy has a guardian angel looking down over her. it's a good thing your heart is so big, because you have a lot of people to watch over.
i love you kid. today. tomorrow. always. Close
Food for Thought / Lynne &. Todd Good (Friends)Read >>
Food for Thought / Lynne &. Todd Good (Friends)
I still remember, like it was yesterday, when Allison called me to tell me you had been killed. I can remember where I was, what I was doing, and the feeling of helplessness that came over me. At that moment, I struggled with how to help her grieve when I was sad myself, what would I say or do in my best friends and twin sisters time of grief. We sat in silence for a moment as I tried to collect my thoughts. I remember the panic and loss audible in her voice. The sadness I felt for her, knowing what you meant to her. And then there was Dave. How would your loss impact him, how would my family and I help him grieve your terrible loss? All so fast. Too much to think about. Sadness. Grief. Todd. How would I tell my beloved husband? He admired you so much. And more. My dad. Dave's friends, your friends. Lesley. Your mom. Your brothers. Me.
Profound sadness. Helplessness.
It has almost been a year now; none of us can believe it. You are still a solid memory; constant reminders are ever so present. Your green army t-shirt that Dave wears; the neighbors red Volvo; the article in Sundays paper; your beautiful memorial Allison and Dave hang on their living room wall; and your harmonica Dave carries close are just a few. They are now powerful bookmarks of where we left off. We are still sad, but grief is now replaced with memory. We miss you terribly, think of you often but are thankful we have something - memories.
If you’re ever in the neighborhood, stop by and see us - you are always welcome here.
3-13-08 Bitter Sweet / Don Tollett (Brother)Read >>
3-13-08 Bitter Sweet / Don Tollett (Brother)
Hey big brother. Having one of the greatest and one of the saddest days of my life today. Annie and I went through a long day at the hospital delivering a perfect baby girl adding another Tollett to our tree. She was born on 3-13-08 at 7:43PM, 8 lbs. 11 oz. and she was 20 inches long. We named her Lucy Jean Tollett. I wasn't too thrilled at first with Annie's idea of naming her Lucy, but I couldn't turn down the idea of having another L T in the family. I can't explain how we did it, how Annie went through the most extreme physical pain I ever witnessed, and how I was able to assist as well as watch her do it. I really think you would have been proud. Ryan and Mom got in town for the birth, and Ry was the best assistant I could have to get through that day. He shared with me the call he had with Dad just before we went into labor and we both discussed how it was the same day your company came home from that horrible place. It was not the longest conversation we had because we both knew what each other was thinking and feeling. You guys mean the world to me, and I know I could not have been as tough as I thought I was for Annie without the drive and support I get from you guys. I miss you so much and think about you every day. Close
the guys are due home soon and though it's an exciting time, i find myself torn between happiness and sadness. you should be coming home with them, lane ...
i've learned so much about you between the stories josh tells of you and the few times i got to hang out with you all and it's got to be said that you are one of the best people i've ever known - this world is that much darker without you in it .... but then again, Heaven is that much brighter with you there. thank you for being the friend you were to josh; you'll never know how it helped my heart knowing that you were there with him.
i'll say a prayer for you at green ramp as we welcome home your fellow soldiers and i know i won't be the only one.
Lane, Two years ago today was a very special day for my first grade class and me. It was the day you came in to visit. My class loved writing to you. It felt like Christmas when we got a letter back from you and your friends. I remember asking other classes if they would like a pen pal and mailing all the letters and packages to you and your friends. My class was so excited when I told them you were home and going to come visit. They started their own count down to the day you came in on their own at calendar every morning. I stayed extra late the night before your visit to decorate my room with red, white, and blue streamers and balloons. I remember the feeling of excitement that was in the building the next morning when I got there. I had set up a time in the gym for you to meet with all the classes that had wrote to you and your friends so that they could meet you and ask you questions. As I confirmed the time with the other teachers I could tell their excitement was bubbling. I remember my students being so excited that we got nothing accomplished all morning. They must have asked me 100 times when you were coming. I sent them to recess and went to meet you in the office. When the children came in, they could not control their excitement. They came rushing at you and did not want to listen. They all just wanted to hug you and talk to you! You have no idea what an impact you made in their lives. One student in particular was touched so deep that she continues to talk about you and says she wants to be like you when she grows up! I have moved to another school building in Elyria but continue to stay in contact with her. She contacted her whole family to come with her to wave flags and show support for you and your family during the procession. It makes me very sad to think the world has lost you but very grateful to have had you in my life! I am also very grateful for the life lessons you have taught my students as well as me! Thanks you lane and I truly miss you!
A letter to Lane / Dave Draper (Friend)
Lane, it seems like yesterday when we sat in the parking lot of the Holiday Inn the night before you left for boot camp. We went on into the bar for a couple drinks before you had to hit the hay. I remember how you about choked from laughing in your beer at the 18 year old recruits sitting behind us, drinking cokes and talking about how they were going to go kick some ass in Iraq. I often wonder what has happened to them and if any of their families and buddies have had to endure the saddness that we have. Its been awhile since I have written to you, but the thoughts of us hanging out and the laughs we shared are constant in my mind...then my eyes swell and the tears are soon to follow. There is a big hole in my heart and as time passes it doesn't appear that it will ever be filled. But I really don't want it to be either. After you left the states, we didn't get to talk very often so it has taken a long time for me to face the fact that you aren't coming back and we won't talk again for some time to come. After I lost my Dad, the times that it hurt the most were those random moments I just wanted to call and tell him something stupid...and then I'd realize I can't because he's gone. Lane, you don't know how many times I've called your cell phone. I know you can't answer, but it feels good to just here your voice. There are a few messages for you too if you can check voice mail from Heaven. I'm sure you know, but I am teaching Social Studies now and I have had the honor of telling your story and showing your picture to many of my students. It is very comforting to me tell them about you. On a happier note, a few months ago your family gave me the honor of having a couple of your things as keep sakes. I got to tell you that your brown ARMY T-shirt is the most comfortable thing I have ever worn in my life. Part of me wants to keep it safe, but I can't stop wearing it. They also gave me one of your classic bucket hats and you'll be proud to know that Eli has taken a quite a liking to it. He normally hates hats, but he'll keep yours on for awhile. Its things like that bring a smile through the tears. I am so proud to be your friend Lane. I miss you more than you could ever know buddy!